Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Life goes on

Life goes on and even for the ones that write the stuff... we too still have to go through the stuff. For the last month I have been doing the struggling over following Flo. Just as the rest of you, I too have times where I question what is going on and what it means. I have been going through a large learning segment of my journey. I must say that without the beliefs in place about Flo I don't know where I would be. Every morning I rise and try to be truely thankful for all that I have, the people that are in my life, the lessons I am learning and journey that lies ahead. I try to give unconditionally and love unconditionally. These I believe have kept me sane and have helped get me through the "issues" I have to work through in order to stay closer to Flo. I believe this is a common story and just wanted to say that even though I write about Flo it doesn't mean that I am free from the grips of the superficial world.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Taking things personally

What does it mean to take something personally? Any time we allow something someone else does, says, writes, etc... to change the way we are at that moment or in the future we have taken something personally. Just like the other topics I have written about a basic premise applies here. There is a positive and a negative way to take things personally. In order to fully distinguish between the two we must first understand how our ideas, words, actions affect others. In terms of energy everything we do has an affect on the world, the universe. In terms of another human and their mind there is absolutely nothing we can do to influence, change or help them. The only way this is possible is if the other person allows it to happen. The inverse is true for you as individual. There is nothing another person can do to change, influence or help you unless you let it happen. What a great power this is if we learn how to use it to our advantage. Lets take a work example: A middle management employee (lets name him/her Pat) Pat shows up at work 5 minutes late on a Wednesday. Pat has been a little better then average worker. Pat has had some big things happen but has also had some set backs. Pat's boss calls a meeting later that morning to talk about the state of the company. As the boss is talking about how everyone needs to buckle down and get more done during this economic crunch she reads on her attendance sheet that Pat showed up late to work that morning. The boss goes off on Pat ignoring the rest of the items She had planned to go over during the meeting.
Pat has a conscious choice to make. Will Pat take this personally, let it slide off his/her back, use it as a learning experience?

How do these different answers look in action?

1. By taking it personally Pat would say "How dare she yell at me. I have done nothing but great things for this company. I was 5 minutes late one day and she jumps all over me. No one understands how much I do for this company. If I were to quit they would be in big trouble." Pat then might go on working with a chip on her/his shoulder making for a negative work environment. Pat may go on and quit or even get fired if negative things keep piling up.
2. By letting the rant slide off her/his back, Pat would say that had nothing to do with me. The boss was just trying to make a point about how important this time is for our company's success. It could have been any other employee if she had read that about them. Maybe she has been super stressed about the company, maybe her husband has been cheating on her, maybe she has a child failing out of school, pregnant, hooked on drugs. All solely her bosses' issues that have nothing to do with Pat. By having this attitude you can continue to keep a positive work environment and Pat doesn't allow the rant to affect her/his job performance.
3. Pat using this as a learning expierence would use a combination of the two. Pat would understand that the reaction was a result of her/his boss's life and life expierences. At the same time Pat would take the time to hear what was being said and use suggestions to get better his/her job. Understanding that this being said while being yelled at doesn't make it a bad suggestion. If Pat can seperate the rant from the information that will help him/her to do a better job while understanding that the reaction was purely the bosses and had nothing to do with him/her then Pat can accept any consiquence that occurs from situation.

In Flo this is an important skill to master. When we allow others to dictate our moods and tell us if we have any worth we are setting ourselves up for dissappointment. By seperating the information from the manner in which it comes to us we learn to learn from everyone. It allows us to find daily miracles in other's dissappointments in us. We can better ourselves no matter if the information comes in the form of a compliment or criticism.
It is worth saying that taking things personally when someone gives you a compliment needs to be evaluated in the same way. If we let the compliment go to our head which grows our ego we are moving from Flo not with it. Take the information the same way wether the information comes from a compliment or a criticism. The way the information comes to you is a result of the other persons past. It has nothing to do with you and your expierences and yet there is information you can use to better yourself.
Definately a lot easier said then done. If you want to read more about how this works try "The Four Agreements" It has a whole chapter on it.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Needs vs. Wants

This topic was inspired by a friend of mine who asked me what is the difference versus needs and wants? I think the simple answer is needs are "must haves" in life (breathing, eating, touch of another person, water, the feeling like we are going somewhere, we are accomplishing something, we have a purpose). Wants are how we go about getting these. The example I gave was a person gets stranded on a deserted island. The person has come to love pizza to the point that it was an addiction. This person had to have pizza 3 or 4 times a week or else they would go crazy. On this island there is plenty of food. Fruit from the trees, fish in the ocean, nuts and berries throughout the island. The person who had come accustom to eating pizza will no longer have that as an option yet the need for food will not change. If the person does not eat they will die. Although it may be difficult at first to get over the want for pizza the person will survive without it. The next question that came up was do we need another person there in order to survive? This is a touchy one because the simple answer is no but above I wrote we need touch of another person. Weather it be literally or figuratively this is a necessity in order to survive. Does this mean this person is doomed if they don't get saved? The answer here is no. One of the reasons we have psychological problems as we get older is because we didn't or don't get enough positive attention from others. A child that is left alone in a crib to cry and rarely is shown any affection or love most likely will have serious problems relating to others and getting the attention they need in order to live a healthy life. This applies to our stranded person. There is a continual need for this positive attention. If this person had friends and or family support before they were stranded then the thought of making it back to this attention is enough to sustain a person and maybe even prolong their life. If this person has no support group waiting for them when they get off the island then chances are they will die relatively quickly.
There are many things that we feel we want in this life and I believe they are another way of telling us who we are and how our brain works. One could want to make a million dollars a year and yet there are starving people in third world countries that live without money at all. Some have argued they are happier. Our wants are like emotions. We don't want to hide from them. We need to use them as way of seeing what our brain is telling us and then we can look to our inner source to see if that is really what we need. Are we associating with the right people or do we want to be seen in a certain group to fulfill an image we want to portray? Are we hiding from our true self by filling it with useless wants when we would be happier if we focused on the needs and allowed our true self to shine?
By getting in touch with Flo we start to filter out the wants that are unhealthy for us. We become our true self and start to fill our life with the wants that make us happy and healthy. Our needs are always going to be there. There is an infinite way of getting them met. We need to learn which are positive wants and which are negative wants then make our choices from there.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Daily Miracles

About six months ago I was going through a real struggle. I stayed up nights thinking about who I was and if my ideology of Flo was worth anything. I was living each day being thankful, giving and loving unconditionally. I was trying to learn from all the obstacles that had been placed in front of me. I was not getting the response I though I would (in essence fighting Flo). Just before going to sleep I was at the end of my rope. I was ready to give up this ideal and start over again. I said one final prayer before getting my 2 hours of sleep. Please God give me one sign that this is real, something that I need to continue to pursue the ideology of Flo. When I arrived at work the next morning I met the guy that I had been doing most of my work with. We had had many discussions about Flo and life energy. He had brought me a little gift. He is a recovering alcoholic and had a "12 step" book that gave daily affirmations. The book was 365 pages with each page dated. On that exact day the title of the page was "Finding Flow in Everyday Life." I read the passage and it said every morning I say this prayer "I arise oh God to do thy will." Prayer is a way for us to get closer to God not a way for God to get closer to us. Meditate and understand that when our life is negative it is because we have moved away from God not God moving away from us. When we are negative the stream of good leaves us and by being positive we reconnect to the stream of good. Sounds a lot like Flo. I was beside my self and thanked my coworker saying "You have no idea what this means to me." He then told me that he read this that morning and though I would like to read it. When he left his house he had forgotten it and decided to go back and get it. I was speechless. In my eyes this was a miracle. Just think of the timing. When was the book published? How did the author decide that that day was the one to put that particular passage? Why did my coworker go back to his house and get it?
I believe these instances happen everyday. When we are in Flo we become more aware of all the circumstances that happen around us. We become in tune with how grand our world is and how just meeting the right person at the right time often in itself is a small miracle. Look at the number of happily married couples. Look at what is learned from those relationships that failed and how they are helping you today. Where they really a failure? Aren't they just learning expierences (no good or bad consiquences... just learning expierences).
Take time everyday for the next week and look at how my "coincidences" happened. See if you can't find a daily miracle in them.

Monday, February 9, 2009


Emotion is the gauge in which we can measure how strongly our brain feels about any situation. Emotion is what tells us if we are doing something the way we think we should or and how well we are doing it. Does emotion let us know if we are in Flo or not?
Lets look at an example before I answer this question. Happiness: A fifth grader comes home with a report card that has all "A's" Is the student happy? Doesn't this depend on the students previous experiences? What if the student has never got anything other then an "A" on a report card? What if the student has never got an "A" on a report card? What if the parent says "I am so proud of you."? What if the parent says "Why are you such an over achiever? Can't you just do anything normal?" There are an infinite number of scenarios that could be described here with just as many reactions. In each case the emotion that corresponds to the situation would change and yet the basic idea of a student coming home with the same report card stays the same.
Emotion is a brain based reaction and has nothing to do with what is happening at the present. It is a response created by our past experiences. With this as a belief then no it does not have anything to do with Flo. This sparks the question of how emotion relates to Flo. Can it be used to help us understand where we stand in accordance with Flo? The answer here I believe is yes. Emotion allows us to understand what we have learned in the past and how we change how we think about situations that come up in the future. We can take a step back and say "Wow I wonder why I feel so strongly about that. What is it about me that makes me react that way?" It gives us better understanding of how our brain interpreted a situation even though we feel we were making choices based on our inner source. When we start making choices from the source inside it isn't going to eliminate the emotions that accompany the choice. It doesn't automatically make the consiquence neutral. These are actions we need to be conscious of. Being in Flo is a conscious action that requires practice and dedication to a belief that by living this way we are continually bettering ourselves. There are no quick fixes in any aspect of our life. We need to choose which areas we want to focus on and make them better. Emotion is a great tool to help us see who we are at the present and allows us to make changes that will benefit us in the future. By being aware of our emotions and letting them play out to the end we learn many things about us and therefore can continually learn from what our mind is telling us.

Sunday, February 8, 2009


Defining ego is a little bit of a challenge. I have spent many hours, days, months in meditation and reading other descriptions of ego. There is a continued growth when it comes to this subject but I will try to define ego as I see it today and how it relates to Flo.

It the very basic sense of the word ego I would define it as who a person is. There is no qualifications that are associated with this definition. It is what it is... an ego. I believe our society has put a negative spin on how ego is depicted. Ego is the embellishment of who we are. It is placing ourselves on a higher pedestal then others because of who we think we are and where we stand in the hierarchy of society. An athlete sees themselves as better then others because they make money performing a skill better then others. A surgeon saves lives and therefore has more worth then a brick layer.
When I first started thinking about how ego relates to Flo I tried to come up with a word that would fall between ego and arrogance (arrogance being the highest form of the embellished self). I think most people live there life in humbled way as not to let others see where they place themselves in ranking among those around them. They treat people well and try to do good on a regular basis. Society wouldn't define these people as arrogant or egotistical. They would be defined as good people. If we were able to use Wonder Womans' truth lasso we would learn that in many aspects of their life they place themselves above or below other because of how they see themselves in relation to them. In order to be truely attached to our source energy to be in Flo a complete seperation of ego is required. We are not any higher or any lower then any other person or thing on this planet. We all come from the same energy source and therefore are all equal in terms of the energy source. The stronger our ego is the harder it becomes to be thankful of all those around us, all that is provided for us, all the accomplishments and setbacks we encounter. It is harder to truely give without expecting something in return. It is harder to love others unconditionally. To accept them for exactly who they are.

Daily actions.
This may be the single hardest part of growth during the day for me. As I go about my job and dealing with others throughout the day I try and check my ego to see if it is getting in the way. One example that really sticks out to me is when I am defending my actions or words. When I catch myself defending I try to take a step back to see what it is about me that wanted MY point to get accross, MY actions to be validated. In all cases it comes back to how I feel I need to be viewed or treated by others. No where in these instances is there room to consider others. I am simply acting in a negatively selfish manner wanting what is best for me.
When I take my 20 minutes a day to just be I evaluate these situations to learn how to let go my ego and just be. To accept me for who I am and be thankful for the journey that is mine. I try to think of the others person's point of view and understand that there opinion is right for them and doesn't have to match mine. By letting go of our ego we open ourselves to the greatest energy there is and become in Flo with our unique life journey.

Saturday, January 31, 2009


I am going to define consequences as the result of any thought or action. The resulting circumstance that occurs following what ever choices we make. When we were kids our parents tried to teach us what this meant. If we washed the dished without being asked we were told good job or I'm so proud of you and then given a reward. If we hurt one of our siblings we were told how bad that decision was and there was a consequence of time out, spanking, etc... Once our brains mature and we are able to make these assessments on our own the consequences become pure learning experiences and we no longer need to be told if they are good or bad.
If you were to watch kids after being disciplined or praised they listen and learn but the second the moment is over they are back to playing as if nothing occurred at all. They learned and did not let it effect the rest of the day. They don't hold grudges or bask in the glory of praise. They just learn from the experience and move on. They understand that one action resulted in a positive manner and the other resulted in a negative manner which effects their future choices but they don't hold onto the moment.
We have all heard that we need to become more like children. Learning how to recapture what it means to play, to live free and explore. This I believe is accomplished when we no longer judge our consequences. This is done by learning how to evaluate the consequence as a positive or negative outcome then learning from them. This allows us to use that moment as learning experience and move on. We no longer beat ourselves up for the bad choice we made. We no longer become stagnant because we don't want to lose this great accomplishment. When we hold onto things longer then necessary we are slowly pulled from Flo energy. We are no longer in the moment and aware of all the great things that are in front of us. We get lost in the past which in turn keeps us from learning and growing.
During the day I try to keep in mind to make choices from the inside, from our source. What ever the consequence is I don't need to judge it as good or bad just look at it as "what have I learned from this?" and then move on trusting that what I have learned will be used in the next decision process.